The well was dry this month. I was scrambling to come up with a topic, and that caused me to do something rather desperate. I searched up author blogs to see what others had written recently. I hoped I could find an idea to “borrow” or perhaps mock in a friendly this guy was out of ideas, too, sort of way.
What I found instead was a ton of advice for author blogs. I thought there might be a list of suggested topics somewhere in all that advice. No. Really no. There was only a long list of things I’m doing wrong. Here are some of the dos and don’ts I’ve been screwing up.
1) The most frequent advice for writing an author blog is don’t. It’s about ten years too late for me to fix that. The reason I shouldn’t have started is that I won’t make money writing a blog. I never expected to make money doing this so I guess I was wrong about that, too.
2) If I write a blog anyway, I shouldn’t think of it as blogging. I’m supposed to think of this as “online writing I do for free.” This way I always remember that I’m giving away something valuable here. The implication is that the goal of a blog is to inflate my ego. I’ve never been comfortable using blog as a verb so I generally think of this as writing a post. And it’s only one of the main goals I’m getting wrong.
3) The primary goal of my blog should be to drive traffic to my author website. My blog is my author site. Another source specifically told me they should be the same so I thought this was one thing I actually had right. Now I’m even wrong about being right.
4) The primary goal of my blog should be to move readers to an email list. Oops. I don’t even have an email list. My primary goal has always been that if someone reads one of my books and decides to look me up, there will be something here, maybe even something mildly interesting. But now that we’ve established that all of my motivation is wrong, let’s dive into the specifics I’m messing up.
5) Every title should be clickbait. It is wrong to make titles match the content. My titles should hint at shock and life-changing information, no matter what. You won’t believe what I’m writing next! More books. I bet no one saw that coming.
6) Write a ton of repetitive stuff. All of the advice about frequency suggests a number of posts per week, not per month. The quantity of my writing is apparently way more important than what I’m writing about. I was wrong the moment I tried to put some thought behind it.
7) Everything I write should be at a 3rd grade level because people are busy. Why does having a lot to do lower intellect? I guess I’m too busy to understand this advice.
8) Every post should include at least one image. I’m told the picture doesn’t have to be related. It only has to be colorful or attention-grabbing. My lack of pictures is so wrong. I didn’t know I was supposed to make people feel busy for not getting why there’s a pile of crayons next to a post about my next release date.
9) Don’t write about my writing process. People don’t care about that. Some people don’t care to read romance. Maybe my fiction is wrong, too.
10) Write about my writing process. Readers like “a peek behind the curtain.” I’m confused.
11) My writing process is only interesting to other writers. Oh. Maybe. I’m still not sure this makes sense.
12) Do regular interviews with people who fascinate me. Wait a minute. This is an actual topic suggestion. But when I make a list of people who fascinate me, it quickly becomes apparent that most of them have one thing in common. They’re dead. This puts me back to square one. I’ll worry about that next month.
Thursday, May 26, 2022
Friday, April 22, 2022
Trivia Time
For something a little different, I have an interactive post this month. Try this little quiz to see if you are a solid fan or if maybe it’s time to reread some of my books. Follow this link to enter answers.
A) a face in a patch of wildflowers
B) a purple bee
C) corn in a wheat field
D) striped clouds
2 - When Owen tries to change the frosting color while making cookies with Gaby in The Christmas Project, what does she threaten to do if he tries again?
A) frost him
B) kick him out
C) not give him any cookies
D) write his name on the burnt ones
A) The Christmas Project
B) Everything Old
C) By Its Cover
D) Not Complicated
4 - In which Coffee and Donuts book do the donuts go missing?
A) Said and Unsaid
B) A Perfectly Good Man
C) Sofie Waits
D) all of the above
5 - What does Daniel say he is willing to do for Molly in Not Complicated?
A) dunk his hands in lice water
B) walk through fire
C) yodel in front of strangers
D) wait in line at the DMV
6 - Which book is the 2nd book in the Love in Andauk series?
A) By Its Cover
B) Into the Fire
C) What Goes Around
D) Everything Old
7 - In Said and Unsaid, what does Alexa say would be a good name for a band?
A) Brilliant Hippo
B) Sparkly Alligator
C) Bald Monkey
D) Jumping Fleas
8 - Which book is the 3rd book in the Coffee and Donut series?
A) Said and Unsaid
B) A Perfectly Good Man
C) Not Complicated
D) Sofie Waits
9 - Angel Melling is the narrator of which book?
A) Into the Fire
B) The Art of Communication
C) Sofie Waits
D) Collecting Zebras
10 - Where does everyone try to hide in Andauk?
A) Burger Brothers
B) St. Jude’s
C) Granny’s Shelf
D) Seymour’s Market
11 - In A Perfectly Good Man, what is wrong with Heidi’s perfectly good remote?
A) battery cover is taped in place
B) the 5 doesn’t work
C) the 7 doesn’t work
D) a large crack on the side
12 - Which book is the 1st book in the Stories From Hartford series?
A) Jealousy & Yams
B) The Christmas Project
C) Andrew’s Key
D) Collecting Zebras
13 - In They See a Family, what does William’s young niece say he does badly?
A) bark like a dog
B) sing
C) pretend to be a person
D) pretend to chop wood
14 - Whose house in Hartford is rumored to be haunted?
A) Andrew’s
B) Rebecca’s
C) Jill’s
D) Mabel’s
15 - Which book is the 4th book in the Romance Arts series?
A) The Art of Introductions
B) The Art of Patience
C) The Art of Communication
D) It doesn’t have an official title yet.
0 – 3 correct: You probably don’t even remember what links you followed to end up at the quiz.
4 – 7 correct: Maybe you’re a new fan and haven’t gotten through all the books yet. Keep reading. You can do it!
8 – 11 correct: Either you got some lucky guesses or I should thank you again for reading.
12 – 15 correct: You might know the books as well as I do. It means a lot that you’ve spent so much time with my work.
Thursday, March 24, 2022
Predictable
A hobby of mine, as well as a few other members of my family, is to try to predict events in the movies or TV shows we’re watching. It makes screen time a little more interactive (or competitive, depending on the night). I think we’re pretty good at it, and it’s usually fun to be right.
There are people who might not agree that this is fun. I’ve seen plenty of reviews that imply predictable only has four letters. The word is used to dismiss a book or show as having no surprises, no imagination and maybe no entertainment value at all. What’s the point, some people say, if the ending is obvious?
But for those of us who want a happy ending, a dose of predictability is a must. I want to know from the moment I learn the hero’s goal that he will eventually accomplish it. I want to know as soon as the bad guys are introduced that someone will stop them. I want to know that the unrequited love won’t stay that way. I maintain that it is the how and not the what that is important.
I need examples to explain myself. If, not that this has ever been part of a real plot, we were watching a love story and guess the girl’s conniving boss will lie to the guy to cause a split, we will be happy when we’re proven right. (We will be. I said we were good.) But our opinion of the movie will change based on how the scene plays out. If the guy walks off in a huff without even talking to the girl, we’ll groan at the ridiculous development and care very little about what happens next. But if the writer manages a clever conversation where he thinks she’s confirming what the boss said, and she’s actually saying something else, we might root for them to figure out the truth and start guessing what will tip someone off. The fact that we saw the misunderstanding coming matters less than how the characters handle it.
For another example, let’s imagine a side character assures the heroine that she won’t have to leave the vacation early because her sister’s baby isn’t due for another three weeks. We don’t have to be good to know the baby is coming early. Anyone who read that sentence guessed it, too. Right? This is where predicting plots isn’t just a hobby. I’m trying to learn. Imagine if the same character ran off for a birth and we didn’t even know anyone was pregnant. That kind of left field event isn’t better. How could the writer work in enough details to make the incident seem natural but not completely expected? Hint: It usually has to do with not explicitly saying something won’t happen.
I’m pondering all this because I’m working on the fourth and final book in a series. People who have read the first three probably have a guess at which two characters are getting together in this upcoming book. If they want the happily ever after that I want, they’ll be kind of mad if they’re wrong. I need to consider how to write a story that is predictable in a sense but not completely void of surprises. Hopefully, a few laughs will help. It can be hard to see those coming.
There are people who might not agree that this is fun. I’ve seen plenty of reviews that imply predictable only has four letters. The word is used to dismiss a book or show as having no surprises, no imagination and maybe no entertainment value at all. What’s the point, some people say, if the ending is obvious?
But for those of us who want a happy ending, a dose of predictability is a must. I want to know from the moment I learn the hero’s goal that he will eventually accomplish it. I want to know as soon as the bad guys are introduced that someone will stop them. I want to know that the unrequited love won’t stay that way. I maintain that it is the how and not the what that is important.
I need examples to explain myself. If, not that this has ever been part of a real plot, we were watching a love story and guess the girl’s conniving boss will lie to the guy to cause a split, we will be happy when we’re proven right. (We will be. I said we were good.) But our opinion of the movie will change based on how the scene plays out. If the guy walks off in a huff without even talking to the girl, we’ll groan at the ridiculous development and care very little about what happens next. But if the writer manages a clever conversation where he thinks she’s confirming what the boss said, and she’s actually saying something else, we might root for them to figure out the truth and start guessing what will tip someone off. The fact that we saw the misunderstanding coming matters less than how the characters handle it.
For another example, let’s imagine a side character assures the heroine that she won’t have to leave the vacation early because her sister’s baby isn’t due for another three weeks. We don’t have to be good to know the baby is coming early. Anyone who read that sentence guessed it, too. Right? This is where predicting plots isn’t just a hobby. I’m trying to learn. Imagine if the same character ran off for a birth and we didn’t even know anyone was pregnant. That kind of left field event isn’t better. How could the writer work in enough details to make the incident seem natural but not completely expected? Hint: It usually has to do with not explicitly saying something won’t happen.
I’m pondering all this because I’m working on the fourth and final book in a series. People who have read the first three probably have a guess at which two characters are getting together in this upcoming book. If they want the happily ever after that I want, they’ll be kind of mad if they’re wrong. I need to consider how to write a story that is predictable in a sense but not completely void of surprises. Hopefully, a few laughs will help. It can be hard to see those coming.
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