Fiction Returns

A guy named Paul will be a minor character in my next book, and he wanted his own story. He gets to star in the three-part short story that you are about to read. We both hope you enjoy it.

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    He had three chances. Including today, there were three classes before the final. The final would be at some odd time, not right before Mass. It was entirely possible that he’d have a class with Gretchen next semester or that he could find her at a meal or some event on campus. But it was unlikely he’d have such a simple and convenient opportunity after these three classes.
    He planned to ask if he could sit with her at Mass, a clear indication that he wanted to spend time with her outside of class. All he had to do was walk out near her. It was a small class, thirteen people today since someone was apparently sick, so the positioning shouldn’t be difficult. He had three perfect chances, starting today.
    But first, he had to pay attention to the chemistry professor, Dr. Fonch. Gretchen was a serious student. She would not be impressed if Paul appeared to be daydreaming in class. Dr. Fonch had posed a question about faith in science.
    “Not faith as in belief in God,” Dr. Fonch continued, “but the broader sense of trust. What are some examples of having trust when studying science?”
    Paul raised his hand, and when the professor nodded at him, he said, “I have faith in gravity. I trust that if I trip, I will hit the ground.”
    Gretchen smiled. Did she think he was entertaining or dismiss him as a clown?
    “True.” Dr. Fonch approved of his answer anyway. “We trust constants to stay constant.” Then he called on Gretchen.
    “We trust that everyone is using the same constants,” she said. “If, for example, I broke a ruler because I forgot it was in my bag when I dropped this massive chemistry textbook into it, then I can go buy a new ruler and trust that everything I measure with it will come out the same as when I measured it with the old ruler.”
    “Okay.” The professor took a few more examples before he wrapped up the discussion for the day and reminded everyone which pages to read in preparation for a lab before the next class.
    Paul tried to time packing up his things with the speed that Gretchen gathered hers. He hoisted his backpack over his shoulder as she reached the doorway and then took a few big steps to close the distance.
    But Zach was waiting for him in the hallway. “Hannah bailed! We need another girl or we can’t play.”
    “What?” Paul tried to split his focus between the problem of keeping up with Gretchen and the one presented by his friend. Their intramural volleyball team needed three girls, and they’d just talked Hannah into being the third. He motioned for Zach to walk while he explained.
    “She claims I didn’t tell her the games might go really late, and maybe I didn’t because I didn’t know eleven o’clock was really late.”
    Gretchen held the outside door for them and smiled as Paul thanked her. Maybe he and Zach could keep pace with her and Sarah, who was already walking with her.
    Zach had the same idea, or at least a different idea with the same goal. “Hey, Gretchen! Sarah! Do either of you play volleyball?”
    Sarah shook her head.
    Gretchen said, “Not well.”
    “It doesn’t matter if you’re no good,” Zach said. “We just want a female body on the floor.” He winced at Paul as he realized that sounded a little weird.
    Both the girls gave him a concerned look.
    Paul subtly indicated that he would not try to help his friend out of that particular hole.
    “I mean, uh… you’d be doing us a favor just by showing up because we can’t play at all unless we have three g- women.”
    “But if you only have three, I’d have to be on the court the whole time,” Gretchen said. “I don’t think that would do anyone any favors.”
    Zach turned back to Sarah with his eyes wide and pleading.
    It took her a few seconds to notice since they were all walking towards the chapel. When she glanced his way, she laughed and said, “I don’t think I’ve ever played volleyball in my life.”
    Paul’s attention had stayed on Gretchen, and though it wasn’t what he wanted to ask her, he said, “Are you sure you can’t play?”
    Her expression softened. “When’s the first game?”
    “Not until January,” Zach said, “but we have to turn in a roster before finals because no one wants to do any organizing over Christmas.”
    She nodded understanding at that sentiment. She bit the side of her lip as her forehead creased.
    Paul didn’t want to see that much wrestling on her face when he finally asked about sitting with her. For this, he gave her a hopeful and hopefully charming smile.
    “Keep looking,” she said eventually. “Then ask me again at the last minute if you haven’t convinced anyone else.”
    “Come on.” Zach punched Paul in the arm as he motioned him away from Gretchen. “We have a few minutes. We can hound girls going into Mass.”
    Gretchen might have rolled her eyes and Sarah definitely did. Paul decided that the atmosphere of the moment was not the best time to seek more of Gretchen’s time.

More Useless Ideas

I made an offhand comment last month that I’d list a few methods for curing writer’s block that don’t work. I started to have second thoughts when I sat down to do that. Why would I write about things that aren’t helpful? That sounds very… not helpful.

Then I remembered that quote about not failing 100 times but finding 100 ways not to do something. Maybe my list can shorten the number of times someone else doesn’t fail.

1) I already covered freewriting.

2) Trying to write in a new environment has been suggested. Think about this for a minute. This advice basically says, if you’re having trouble concentrating on your project, go look for distractions. If your familiar quiet room isn’t working for you, try to write at a restaurant where people will be banging and chattering in the kitchen, or at a public park where strangers will think the fact that you’re staring at a notebook means you’d like to talk about the weather. That’s wonderful for concentration.

3) I’ve seen more than one list of ideas that includes drinking coffee. There are two types of people in the world: those who don’t drink coffee and those who already drink too much. More coffee is unlikely to make a difference for the latter and sounds like a hassle to the former, who don’t have it in the house and probably don’t like it anyway. Unless you want to write authentically about following bad advice, skip the coffee solution.

4) Some people say writing prompts are a good idea. I don’t completely disagree. These can be useful in a general sense. Trying to write about different settings, emotions and actions can help stretch and strengthen the writing muscles. But it doesn’t help when a specific part of your story isn’t working. You can think of ten different ways someone might react to a bad Christmas present, and none of them will get your spaceship off the ground.

5) One of my favorite pieces of advice is to try to think out loud. This goes back to the coffee thing where there are only two types of people. There are normal people, and there are people who don’t need this suggestion. Anyone who hasn’t figured out that talking to yourself is a great way to accomplish many tasks, including sorting out the dialog or direction of a story, is unlikely to be convinced by some random person putting it on a list.

I guess this random person probably shouldn’t be making lists either. I’ll go back to talking to myself. I mean, I’ll go back to writing a story.

The Best Cure

This month I’m going to offer amazing and totally serious advice for aspiring writers who might be facing the dreaded blank page.  Draw on the wall.  This might turn out to be metaphorical depending on whether or not you have any drawing talent and who owns your wall. 

Let me back up to explain.  I’ve been doing this writing thing long enough that I’ve had to break through a lot of blocks.  I’ve read a fair amount of advice, and I know what works and what doesn’t.  The most important place to start on this topic is to be clear that there are two very distinct types of writer’s block.  Type 1 is I love writing and I’m trying to create a story I’m excited about and I just don’t know what’s going to happen right here.  And then type 2 is I have to write a paper for school on this subject I don’t care about or I’m trying to write a memo to the boss where I call him an idiot without calling him an idiot.  I’m only an expert on type 1.

At the top of the list of things that don’t work is freewriting.  This is a “technique” where you just write without caring if it’s good or even makes sense.  This advice makes no sense.  If I could write something, I wouldn’t be stuck.  I already expect to go back and improve my story.  That’s called editing.  Maybe this advice is only meant for those poor type 2 people.

I’ll go over some of the other bad advice next month so I can move on to what does work.  Take a break from writing to do something fun.  But not just anything fun, it has to be something you do poorly.  I decided to paint a picture on my wall.  Now the problem I’m struggling with isn’t that my main character got roasted and has no comeback.  The new problem is that my drawing of a boat looks like a banana with a piece of toast stuck in it.  That first problem suddenly seems easier to fix.  When I’m trying to puzzle out how to paint a white dove on a white wall, I’m also daydreaming about where my characters are going to go on a first date.  The more times I erase something on the wall, the more confident I am that my book will be much better, and I can’t wait to get back to writing it.

I promise this is good advice for everyone.  Even if it doesn’t resolve your immediate block, you still get to do something fun.  Plus, it will almost certainly prove useful in a future project where you can write realistically about a character dropping an open can of paint down the stairs.