Thursday, February 18, 2016

What did she say?

Have you ever had a conversation and then later started thinking about what you might have said instead? A very cool thing about being an author is that I have time to think about what people should say before they say it. Sometimes this is simple and fun. I just let the characters talk. Sometimes I get stuck though. Sometimes I don’t know what I want someone to say, and I need to brainstorm possibilities until a response feels exactly right.

What follows here is an example of the latter from A Perfectly Good Man. The main character (Heidi) is talking to someone named John. Olivia is his 5-year-old niece and Kim is his sister and Olivia’s mother.

  “Of course you’re nice,” I said, shifting under the weight of my own guilt more than any perceived interrogation. “Olivia thinks so and she seems pretty smart.”
  He smiled. “You know she also thinks I work for Santa Claus.”
  “What? She doesn’t really think that, does she?”
  “She does.”
  “Why would you tell her that?”
  John put his hands up defensively while he laughed. “It wasn’t me. Kim said she asked about my job and she didn’t want to scare her with how boring it really is so she said I worked for Santa, that I work on a program that helps him keep up when kids move. I tried to tell Olivia the truth, but Kim had told her that I’d have to deny it because keeping the secret was part of my job.”


How should Heidi respond to this? I was stuck long enough that I started jotting down everything that popped into my head. Here are several ideas I had for continuing this conversation.

…I’d have to deny it because keeping the secret was part of my job.”
  “So that’s why Olivia likes to hang out with you.”
  John rewarded me with amused sarcasm. “Thanks for pretending that was a mystery.”

…I’d have to deny it because keeping the secret was part of my job.”
  “Wow. You are like the tallest elf I’ve ever seen.”
  “Nobody said I was an elf. They make toys, not software.”

…I’d have to deny it because keeping the secret was part of my job.”
  “That’s funny.”
  “It’s funny until she tells a bunch of kids that she has an uncle who knows where they live. Then I sound creepy.”

…I’d have to deny it because keeping the secret was part of my job.”
  “Wait a minute. Did you tell Santa I moved? Is that why I didn’t get a plant last year?”
  John laughed, but then he said, “Did you really want a plant?”

…I’d have to deny it because keeping the secret was part of my job.”
  “I’m surprised she didn’t say you worked on the naughty and nice list.”
  “I think Kim didn’t want Olivia to think she could ask me to tweak that list.”

…I’d have to deny it because keeping the secret was part of my job.”
  “Interesting. Next time I see Olivia, I’ll tell her that Blitzen considers you his best friend.”
  “Why?”
  “Everyone knows Blitzen is the coolest reindeer.”
  He sighed at me. “I meant why would you encourage that?”

…I’d have to deny it because keeping the secret was part of my job.”
  “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
  “Really? That’s because I haven’t told you what Kim did to me when I was ten.”

I don’t think any of these ideas are really bad (I’m not sharing the ones that were bad), but the trick was that I wanted John and Heidi to end up talking about something else. I needed to figure out which response I could use to steer the conversation towards that topic. Which ended up in the final book? If only there was a way to find out.

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